


Yours

by KMDWriterGrl



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26346262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KMDWriterGrl/pseuds/KMDWriterGrl
Summary: While off at debate camp during season 4, C.J. and Toby fight over the revelation that Andi is pregnant.
Relationships: C. J. Cregg & Toby Ziegler, C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Yours

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1: This is set during "Debate Camp" but the reader should go in to it with the assumption that C.J. and Toby are currently in a long term relationship. 
> 
> A/N 2: It was never made clear the circumstances under which Andi got pregnant, but I chose to take a different approach and assume that she had the in vitro procedure done but didn't tell Toby about it first.

“Of all the stubborn, pig-headed, generally insufferable people I know, you are right at the top of the list!” CJ stormed, swinging the door to her cabin shut behind her and rounding on Toby.

“Well, it takes one to know one, doesn’t it?” Toby snapped back, dropping his notepad and briefing book on the end table with more force than was strictly necessary.

“ _I’m_ insufferable? That’s rich! You’ve been nothing but pissed off and irritable since we got here! 18 hours is way too long to put up with you when you’re like this!”

“So leave! None of this requires you to be in the room! You can go take a walk with Donna.”

“Excuse me? None of this requires me to be in the room?” Her voice dropped into the low dangerous register it got when she was angry and heading toward an explosion. “I am the White House press secretary … it’s my business what goes on in _every_ room if I’m going to report on it, especially if you’re going to mangle the optics on this debate by having him appear--”

He was treading on dangerous ground, but he couldn’t seem to stop his mouth. “Mangle the optics? Really? You’re one to talk about optics, the way you constantly flirt with Danny Concannon. Do you know the sort of rumors that are going around about the two of you?”

CJ narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t start. Don’t you dare start with me on Danny. I’m not the one who just knocked up his ex-wife. How do you think the optics on THAT are going to look?”

“Leave her out of this,” Toby warned. “I’m not kidding.”

“And you think I am? Don’t go round and round with me on this, Toby. You won’t win.”

“You always do this.” Toby began pacing. “You always make it personal.”

“You’re the one who made it personal by bringing up Danny!”

Toby ignored that and continued. “Any time there’s even a hint that you may not be needed in the room you take it as a personal affront.”

“If you’re designing press appearances you DO need me in the room! Why are you so eager to have me out of there?”

“Because I need some space, CJ, Jesus! I can’t take this!”

“Can’t take WHAT?”

“Seeing you like this when I just found out--”

It dawned on her then what was REALLY going on, but it didn’t make her any less angry … in fact, it only made her more so.

“This is about Andi, isn’t it?”

“I told you to leave her out of this.”

“Tough, she’s in it now. She was in it as soon as you two decided for some inexplicable reason to have children together even though you’ve been divorced for years and even though we--” She clamped down hard on her anger, though she could still feel it roiling under the surface.

“This has nothing to do with us,” Toby said. “This is about Andi. She wants to have kids and--”

“What about what you want? And what about what I want? Do you think this is easy for me, knowing you and she went to bed together?” 

“We didn’t. Of course we didn’t. We didn’t get drunk on wine coolers and have an evening together, for God’s sake. There were still some… samples.” He somehow couldn’t bring himself to say ‘sperm’ in front of CJ, which he realized was completely ridiculous considering what they were arguing about. “She used those. Do you really think I could stand here and look at you if I’d slept with my ex-wife to get her pregnant?”

There was something off about his face and his voice, something more than the anger that came with the two of them arguing about optics and personal conflict, but she couldn’t stop to analyze it. She had reached the point where her anger was burning up all reason, all rationality, a place that only Toby could somehow get her to.

“You could have told me. More to the point, you should have told me. You want to talk optics, how the hell am I supposed to manage this? The White House Communications Director knocks up his ex-wife, the Congresswoman from Maryland. There’s going to be a shitstorm, Toby, especially if there’s no wedding forthcoming.”

The idea of Toby marrying Andi again actually made her feel ill, so she stopped and dragged in a deep breath, trying to get her emotions back under control, though she was clearly fighting a losing battle on that front. 

“Why the hell didn’t you take five minutes to tell me this was coming down the pipe?”

“Because I didn’t know!” he roared. “Okay? I had no idea! This is as much a surprise to me as it is to you.” He began pacing, the only thing he could think to do to burn off the anger coursing its way through him. “She blindsided me with it!”

That stunned her utterly, stopped her cold in her tracks. She took a moment to process what he was saying, tried to hear it through the roaring in her ears, and then looked backward on their conversation thus far, reflecting on this new knowledge.

“Toby--”

“How am I supposed to do this?” His voice was tight—with anger or tears or tension, she couldn’t tell. She knew him well but there were still times when she couldn’t read his face or voice and this was one of them. “How can I be a father? I didn’t ask for this … she just--”

“You were going to do it before,” CJ said. “When you were married. I mean, you _wanted_ kids, right?”

“She wanted kids,” he said, low, nearly ashamed. “I wanted her happy.”

And just like that, she was in a temper again, but at Andi this time, and hot lancets of anger cut through her, making her skin prickle. She had to turn away from his wretched expression and get herself under control because she could not—would not—add more to his plate than was already there.

But this was anger she couldn’t breathe down, anger that couldn’t be stomped or paced away. This was anger simmering in her belly and in her brain, white hot rods of it shooting up her backbone and into her head, clenching her jaw. This was going to ruin them … it was going to be the end of her and Toby because she knew him well enough to know that he would, above all other things, do what was honorable and right, and that meant he was going to ask Andi to marry him again so that they could parent their child together.

The sick feeling roiled in her stomach again and she had to breathe, had to take a moment and lean against the back of the sofa to keep herself steady, had to fight back the urge to scream in frustration and rage.

“Say something,” Toby said. “The longer you’re silent the worse it’s going to be when you speak.”

She knew she was going to have to work to keep her voice level, so she took a beat before she spoke then said, “That can never get out. NEVER. That gives the story a titillation factor even worse than the one we’re facing now.”

“Yeah, I’m not keen on that getting out.”

“We need to spin this. I don’t know how we’re going to spin it, but we’re going to have to. But it isn’t going to look good for either of you unless there’s a wedding announcement soon to follow.” She tried not to choke on her words when she said it and managed tolerably well, though there was hitch on wedding that she couldn’t quite manage to hide.

“CJ--” The anger drained from his voice, though the frustration remained. “I can’t--”

“I know.”

“You know how I feel about you.”

“I know.”

“But I have to--”

“I _know_ , Toby, okay? I get it. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Do not for one second think that I like it either. I don’t. This isn’t what I want. But it’s what I have to do.”

Tears were building up in her throat and she turned her head so he couldn’t see her face until she could get her expression under control.

“Claudia.” He stepped close and lightly cupped her face, rubbing his thumb along the line of her clenched jaw, trying to get her to let go of the tension there. “It’s going to be okay.”

“How?” she burst out. “How can it possibly be okay? In what universe is this going to be okay?”

“We’ll work this out.”

CJ laughed. There was no humor in it. “You’re hers now.”

“No. I’m not.” He kissed her temple. “I’m yours.”

Temper flared through her again, unexpectedly, and without realizing she was going to do it she grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him to her, and growled, “Prove it.”

His hands closed on her hips, yanked her hard against him, and kissed her. There was nothing kind or tender about it; it was all heat and temper sublimated into passion. His fingers squeezed tight around her hipbones, pulling her up against his groin, grinding against her.

She groaned—with pain or lust, he wasn’t sure which—and kissed him back hard, running her fingers up into his hair and twining there. Her body was like a furnace against his … how was she giving off so much heat?

He backed her up against the wall, using his weight to pin her there and kept kissing her hard, fast, fierce. She seized the back of his shirt and held on as he thrust his rapidly hardening cock against her.

“Bedroom. Now.”

She popped several of the buttons on his shirt as she tried to yank it off him. Her bra ended up a tangled knot on the floor. They were out of their clothes and onto the bed and there was none of the usual foreplay, none of the giddy laughter that accompanied the times they made love when they were calm and tender and delighted with each other. Instead, he was inside her in one thrust and she was pushing her hips up against his in response, grinding until she could feel friction burns starting to rise on her skin. She was tight and not quite wet enough, but he kept moving frenetically until she could feel the length of him in her belly.

“Fuck, Toby,” she groaned. She wrapped her legs around him, pulled him in deeper.

“Do you believe me when I say I’m yours? Who else is going to fuck you this way?” he ground out, twining his fingers with hers.

“Make me come and I’ll believe it,” she whispered fiercely.

He plunged his hand into the searing heat between her thighs and began to play her with expert fingers until she was writhing under him. She moaned, working her way up to a scream that crescendoed when her climax crashed over her in one huge wave. He stopped the scream with his mouth, kissing her hard, swallowing down the heat and vibration of it so that no one nearby would be able to tell what was going on in her cabin.

He was close to his own release, nearly ready to spill inside of her, but he knew he could coax another out of her. Multiple orgasms for them were the norm, not a surprise, so he kept thrusting into her and soon enough she was shaking and panting under him again, her fingers clenched on the hard muscles in his shoulders.

“Come on, beautiful.” He nipped at her shoulder, harder than he normally would have. “I know you’ve got one more for me. Do you want me to make you come again?”

He couldn’t get more out of her than a helpless moan, but he took it as a yes.

“Tell me you’re mine and I’ll make it happen.” He played his fingers across her heated core and felt her shudder violently. “Say it.”

“You know I’m yours. I always have been.” She gasped it out, raking her nails down his back. “Christ, Toby, please, I can’t--”

“Almost there. But not quite yet. I want you to say something before I make you come.”

He drew almost completely out of her, thrust back in again, making her cry out and jerk her hips.

“I’ll say whatever you want. Please, oh god, I need it!” 

“I’m yours. Don’t ever let me hear you say otherwise. Say it, CJ. Say that I’m yours.”

“You’re mine.” Even amidst that frenzy of pleasure, she was able to meet his eyes and say with total clarity. “I know you’re mine.”

“You’re damn right I am.” He pressed his mouth to hers so he could swallow her scream as she climaxed and held her hard as she shook through each contraction that rolled through her body.

Watching her lose control always brought him to the brink of orgasm, so it didn’t take much for him to come. His climax came hard on the heels of hers, his hips pistoning, his hands clenched in the sheets. He was aware that CJ was holding him hard, her legs wrapped tightly around him to pull him further in to her. She was always the more vocal of the two of them but he couldn’t hold back a yell when he came this time, especially with her nails digging into his back and causing that scattered mix of pain and pleasure that always wound him up and jangled his insides.

They lay wrapped around each other, sweating, panting, both feeling as if something had been exorcised through sweat and sex and screaming. Toby smoothed her hair away from her forehead.

“You okay?”

“Give me a minute and I will be.” She shut her eyes to gather herself. “I won’t be able to stand for a few minutes, you’ve got my legs so shaky.”

Toby withdrew from her and rolled onto his back, taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart. “Did I hurt you?”

She turned onto her side. “You couldn’t. Not like that anyway.”

“It’s all those other ways that I worry about.” He caressed her cheek. “We’re going to make this work.”

A shadow passed over her face. “I don’t see how.”

“I don’t know how either. But we will. I promise you.”

CJ was quiet for so long he wondered if she had fallen asleep, but finally she said, “In a different life … one where we didn’t work at the White House, and you were a professor, and I was a consultant or something … would you have wanted to have a child together?”

“I don’t know how to be a father,” Toby said frankly. “I didn’t grow up with the best role model. I’m scared of what’s going to happen when I have to be a father to this child and teach him or her things that are good and decent and worthy of respect. I’m petrified by it, actually. But if I had a different life, one that didn’t involve the White House, one that was you and me …” He turned on to his side and let his hand come to rest on her abdomen. “I could see us having a child together, yes.”

CJ slid her hand on top of his, wanting the warmth of his palm, the tenderness of his touch there for just a bit longer before that gesture and all that it signified went to Andi.

“Do you want to have a baby?” Toby asked her. “Is some of that mixed up in all of this?”

CJ shook her head. “No. At least I don’t think so. Not yet anyway. It’s just the symbolism of it all, I guess. Some part of you is always going to be hers now.”

He leaned over, his hand still on her stomach, and kissed her tenderly. “All of me is yours, Claudia Jean. You’re stuck with me.”

CJ grinned at that, the last of her temper leaving as she kissed him back. “There are worse things.”

END


End file.
